Top Ten List: Uses for my diaper

Top 10 uses for my diaper while I'm running:

10. Filter out the stench of a dead skunk or other vermin.

9. Use as a hand cushion while stretching on the side of rough tree trunk.

8. Provide lashing material for impromptu splint, or use as a trauma dressing in case of big boo-boo.

7. Wipe off over spray from a passing car with a smirking driver.

6. Wrap alternately around my hands when it's cold outside and I've forgotten my gloves.

5. Wipe sweat or rain from my forehead.

4. Clean the back of my muddy legs after running along a puddle strewn forest road.

3. Blow my drippy nose.

2. Wave as a flag, a white flag, at oncoming cars and motor bikes during periods of darkness or other poor visibility.

And the number one use for my diaper while running:

WARNING: The following number 1 response contains material of an adult nature. If you are among the meek, the squeamish, the faint of heart or are otherwise sensitive to matters which some may consider unpleasant, please stop reading and subscribe to the "starrynight" blog (over at http://starrynightsstables.blogspot.com)

And once again, the the number one use for my diaper while running:

1. Use as a diaper.

Yes, long distance runners are prone to a condition I hesitate to call EIBM or Exercised Induced Bowel Movements. If you combine the healthy benefits of eating a Mediterranean style diet rich in fruits and vegetables and then lace your morning oatmeal with a heaping spoonful of ground flax seed-and then go for a long run of say... mmm 20 miles, every once in awhile you might come home smelling like shit. Hey, it could happen! Grow up!